A powerful book to read that will change your communication style and help to deepen your interactions with other people, is the book written by Marshall Rosenberg called Non-Violent Communication.  In his book, Marshal outlines a communication approach that is effective when communicating with others.  This strategy helps to build respect and genuine regard for both the listener and the speaker alike.  The approach is a two-way channel of communication.  A person may use this approach when wanting to express a need, or, when he/she/they are needing another person to clarify and/or articulate his/her/ their needs.  It is non-threatening, productive and dignified.  Each person engaged in the interaction comes away from the conversation feeling heard and seen, and that his/her/their perspective has been accepted without judgement. This of course does meant you agree with what the other is saying, but has at least provided a safe place for the other to share.

My life experiences and the many conversations I have had with clients has led me to believe that using non-violent communication as an approach to resolving breaches in communication as a way of being, definitely improves the quality of life. Less time is spent ruminating on the “shoulda, woulda, coulda’s”, with more time spent on creating feelings of  relaxation and satisfaction.  According to Arthur Brookes, in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, “happierness” comes from 3 main conditions:  satisfaction and enjoyment along with purpose/meaning.  Satisfaction is fleeting, however, unless harnessed with enjoyment and interwoven with meaning.  This is not hierarchal but rather interconnected.  Enjoyment is defined as living in the moment without focusing on the past or projecting into the future.  It’s a state of being; focus and attention to the here snd now.

If this sounds intriguing, google the authors and listen to all three podcasts.  It’s just food for thought.